![]() ![]() Be responsible for owning up on your end.ĭo you feel defeated trying to repair a broken relationship in your life? It can really help to talk things through with someone. It takes strength and humility but you ALWAYS have a choice over your actions. It’s an attempt to excuse your own bad behavior based on their bad behavior. ![]() Something else I try to practice is to NEVER say “I’m sorry…but” even if there was wrongdoing on the other side. Now we’re learning how to apologize in each other’s languages, as well as to extend the grace in accepting an apology that didn’t come out in our preferred language. (For my husband it’s accepting responsibility). And likely, a different one will resonate more strongly with your spouse. One of these languages of apology will resonate the most strongly with you. “I’m so sorry I spoke harshly and reacted the way I did. This is where forgiveness has to be requested before the apology is seen as being sincere. Can you think of anything that could help make sure this doesn’t happen?” V. “I keep losing my temper and I know that’s not right. Please tell me what I can do to make it up to you.” IV. Usually the request will fall in line with that person’s love language. I shouldn’t have reacted like that.” III. “I was wrong to speak to you in that tone. This language spells out what was done wrong. I know I’ve hurt your feelings and I’m so sorry for that.” II. It indicates that we are aware that we caused pain. Gary Chapman details five languages of apology that are universal. So what do you do when the person you love doesn’t hear you when you say, “I’m sorry?” In his book, Things I Wish I’d Known Before Getting Married, Dr. The differences in the way my husband and I hear apologies are pretty common. So I would say, “But I agree with you! I’m really sorry!”Īnd he would say, “I don’t believe you’re truly sorry.” My husband would say, “You’re not sorry, you don’t even know what you’re sorry for!” I’d mull it over, agree and say, “I’m sorry.” Other times I would do something inconsiderate. I’d be left confused by the whole incident. Then my husband would get mad that I glossed over the issue by doing something nice. I’d mull it over, agree internally that it was inconsiderate, and do something nice as a gesture of apology. Our different methods of apology have lead to some complicated situations in our home. He’s used to hearing things like, “I’m sorry I reacted without getting clarification first.” Rather than simply saying, “I’m sorry,” you say what you’re sorry for. But in my husband’s family, apologies are more detailed than that. If you used words you just said, “I’m sorry” and that was enough. In my family, you could do or say something nice as a gesture of apology. This all has to do with how you were taught to apologize. The problem comes in how we determine whether or not someone is sincere. In any apology, the hearer is usually willing to accept it if they believe the apologizer is sincere. I’m working on getting better at apologizing and this is what I’ve learned so far. It’s that the way I apologize doesn’t get received as being sincere. Admitting when you’re wrong is hard, but I always do it when I believe I’m wrong. Share on Facebook Share on Twitter Share on Whatsapp Email Page Print Page ![]()
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